Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Does making a big deal out of something make it a big deal? (Or, what is appropriate for my 6 year old to wear?)

A few weeks ago, Kiddo got a hand me down from a friend. It's a dress that has a halter top, and a long, full skirt. It's a cute dress, but I'm not a big fan of the halter top with no back for my 6 year old.

So, the question is...do I let her wear it? On one hand, she is 6, she doesn't care about being "sexy". To her it is just a "fancy" dress her friend gave her. On the other hand, SHE IS 6!

My gut reaction was that she could only wear it out of the house if she had a shirt on under it. She didn't like that, because "it will show outside the sleeves". True, darling, but that's because it doesn't have any sleeves!

As I considered it more, I started thinking that since she doesn't care about being "sexy", it probably wouldn't hurt to let her wear it. BUT! What happens in a couple of years, when she does want to wear it to be sexy? Will she say, "but you let me wear a dress like this when I was 6!!!"?

I don't want to make a big deal out of it. Sometimes I feel like little things become big things because we make a big deal out of it. If I let her wear it, she is fine, I am okay, life goes on. If I fight her on it, she gets upset, I get annoyed that she is upset, and now we're locked in a power struggle over something that is much closer to spilled milk than world peace.

In the end, I realize there is another way to resolve this. I tell her she can wear the dress out of the house if she wears the tank top underneath. I explain to her that I think she needs to have more of her back covered. I don't get upset when she is upset, I calmly give her option A (wear the dress with the tank top), and option B (don't wear the dress at all).

I feel like this is one of those times where since I'm the Mom, I get to decide, even if she doesn't like it.